Piles, piles everywhere, it is enough to make you crazy. Very few people in the human race can make piles disappear. I spend a better part of my day at home staring at piles that never seem to go away. Now I know you thinking, Jen, stop staring at them and just put them away. The worst pile in my house is the one on the end of the kitchen counter that geographically seems to be the crossroads of our home. Usually on Sunday’s, my much more orderly than me husband decides to get rid of the infamous pile. He does so by scooping up the massive pile of crap, shifts it a couple of feet over and dumps it on the kitchen table. His theory behind this is that I won’t be able to get dinner on the table and I will have to clean up the stupid pile. I guess we could always have dinner in the dining room, but like a dog that has made a mess, I feel guilty and get to work. Here is what happens when I work on a pile. First in my defense, maybe half of what is in the pile is usually my fault. Has anybody heard of email? It makes piles much smaller by turning them into more manageable virtual piles. Everyone seems to feel the need to send out little pieces of papers reminding us of what we probably already now. Thank you to John Lyman School for realizing this over the past year, because you have helped alleviate some big pile problem around here. I usually take the pile and start to separate it into to smaller piles. There is the automatic throw out pile…gum and popcicle wrappers which make me incensed. I call those lazy people piles. These are also destined for the trash: pens that don’t work, scholastic book forms, business cards and brochures that I barely can remember how I got, old magazines, an apple that keeps going to and from the lunch bag that for some reason has been rejected by my child. Woomp, they all go in the trash… or not, because of that damn recycling green earth dilemma that weighs in on my conscience. So now I start a recycling pile. Arggg. Now I take all of the library books and movies split from numerous libraries all carrying over due fines and create the “I must return these or I will have a permanent record pile”. Then things like bills statements and paychecks get sent to the all important “pig” pile that my husband created with a little plastic pig that goes on top of the water cooler. Everything under the pig is high priority. Pictures the kids made go into the pile that gets filed up in the attic or goes into the recycling bin when they aren’t looking pile. Random books and cd’s and annoying manuals that may be important someday to someone find a home on a shelf somewhere. Now it gets difficult. When something fits into the palm of your hand finding a home for it can be maddening. Lego’s are a permanent fixture in the pile. But they are pretty easy to throw back in the bin. Pieces of clay art go onto the special kid shelf. Now I am stuck with weird random crap like marbles, pencil toppers, camera batteries, usb sticks, a random Tootsie Roll, a very important phone number, a mood ring, a Silly Band or two and a key to God only knows what. I smile as I have unearthed my long last glasses and my Ipod shuffle which in my opinion is a dumb invention because it’s too small and everyone looses it. So now my kitchen table has 15 different piles! I hope my husband is happy. In a God-like way, I have split the loaves and created a pile for everyone and everything. Since it is Sunday, it is a day of rest so clearly I should be done cleaning up piles. Is this your experience? If it isn’t, I commend you for your ability to keep it together. For everyone else…may your piles complete you and define your very life.
4 Comments
Cynthia
3/11/2011 01:47:22 am
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Cynthia
3/11/2011 01:49:45 am
I love the pig on top of the pile and can totally relate. I am constantly saying, "I'll get this mess cleaned up. I'll leave the piles separated on the bed and floor until it's done. BUT IT'S NEVER DONE!!! Does anyone out there have a solution?
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jen Schulten
3/11/2011 05:28:20 am
My husband's solution is a Hefty bag. He claims that it works every time!
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Jean
3/11/2011 08:54:53 am
I like to ignore the pile for awhile. If it's long enough, some papers expire and I can then throw out more.
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