At 2:16 pm today, my daughter burst into the room, tears in her eyes… "Mom I have a detention." I look at her crookedly and she goes on about the offenses that leads one to detention these days. “Now, don’t leave your book in your locker from now on, when it should be at your desk,” I tell her. Her lesson has clearly been learned as she wipes the tears from her eyes. It’s 2:46. The house is unusually quiet at time when I usually hear Peter burst through the door. He quietly sulks around the corner, shoulders low…"Mom, I have a detention.” Wondering if I have entered the Twilight Zone, I think to myself…that’s weird, two in one day. I compose myself before I speak. My blood pressure has bubbled up and I do my best to keep it together. Our shadow puppets are trying to bring us on a wild goose chase and the three of us are in the hunt. While it’s eerily quiet for the next hours, the kids do their penance by hitting the books in their rooms. I feel their failure as I gaze at my own. My desk is a mess and I realize my lack of organization is also theirs. The 27 inch screen in front of me beckons. I type into Yahoo Answers, “How to become a good student”. Sure enough, Yahoo knows the answer as it list obvious strategies. “Know it all”, I grunt to myself. On paper, it sounds so easy, but logistically, it’s not. We all have some work to do but each needs to find our way on our own terms. Teaching kids without hovering is a delicate skill, one that less and less parents seem to master these days. Kids need to realize that lessons need to be learned and absorbed the hard way. I can’t soften the blow and if I do, they’ll be worst off for it. So tomorrow is a new day. The kids will serve their hard time and I am going to clean off my desk. I’d rather go to detention.
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July 2018
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